Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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