Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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