All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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