he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
