I want to make a zoo with you.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
