Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
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