ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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