Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
