Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
