What a fucking waste of an outfit
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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