if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
