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$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
So much rum. So many feels.
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