broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult