just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina