ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
