The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize