Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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