Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We talked him into tasing himself.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
