Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
