He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
