I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
