okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
