After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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