It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
The struggles of a small town man whore
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
