all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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