That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize