she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
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