Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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