OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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