I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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