He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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