he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
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No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
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I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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