All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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