goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
