god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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