Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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