I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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