Dual....:-)
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize