pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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