Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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