She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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