you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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