So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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