honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
