Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The air was thick with penises
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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