It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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