mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
