I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
