Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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