that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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