Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
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At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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