The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
