I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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