So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.