just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.