i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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