Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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