what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
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