She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
