Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Randomize
